tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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