Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so let's talk penis.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
