dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
