I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
