saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He better not be in your backpack
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize