Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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