I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Success! We fucked roommates!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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