Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
