on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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