Sponge bath it is.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
