I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
