i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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