I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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