i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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