normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
