Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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