You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
