You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
