Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
