then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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