i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
