Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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