I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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