do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
