I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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