The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
