Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
