Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
