Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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