so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
