I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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