CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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