I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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