Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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