I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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