just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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