I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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