i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
