so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize