I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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