Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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