No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
