Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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