Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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