Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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