I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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