Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
