Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
