PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
