So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
