Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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