if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Also, beer. Big fan.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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