You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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