Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
