u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just invented taco cereal.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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