i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
