ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
