so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
